Day 017 | January 17th, 2011

Photo: Mickey’s Diner today. 

Truth is, I’ve been neglecting this because life has been boring and repetitive lately. I’m still home. Still bored. Nothing new. Another mind game is the fact that it is technically the 18th, but I haven’t slept so I don’t even count that.

I woke up and broke a lamp listening to A Day to Remember.

Today was an adventure well needed and appreciated with Izzy. Science museum, noodles, exploring. Just fun. I needed that. We saw the omnitheatre Hubble telescope movie and traveled through space. It was incredible, mind blowing, ah. I want to travel into space. I mean, can you imagine what an accomplishment that would be? The feeling you would have to know you went into orbit around Earth?

My head has been in the gutter these past few days because of the mass amounts of miss that I have right now. I miss somebody.. a lot. But I shouldn’t. It’s like a nasty habit that I have to quit. A few more months and I think I can do it. Number changed, everything changed. Change change change. I hate change. I hate change so much. But change is always a good thing, usually. At least, I am a firm believer that change will always eventually help you. I think.

It’s just a complicated mind fuck. Maybe the only reason I am even including this is because it’s 3AM and when my head hits my pillow my mind just wanders.

I’m so unsure of everything right now. Maybe it’s the fact that I am leaving home in a few days after being back for so long. Maybe it’s the fact that I feel so alone, even though I am most definitely not at all. Maybe it’s the fact that I can’t fall out of love… or maybe it’s the fact that I might not even know what love is. I’m going to start calling these Brain games. Some people might understand this better than others. Brain games are in full swing today.

Goodbye 17, hello 18. Officially.

I will never stitch the hole you cut, in hopes that you’ll return to me.